Love and the use
In this rambling, I will talk about the ever
present topic of Love Spells and also offer some guidance on the use of
any spell, ritual or potion for manipulative purposes. By manipulative
purposes, I am referring to a working where the object of said working
is not aware it is being done, nor have they consented to such a
Of course this is only my opinion and it is not intended to embarrass
anyone. These are simply my thoughts on a subject which gets batted
around quite frequently, so take it for what is worth. From the mail I
receive from those who have made or seen these mistakes happen, I'm
confident they are shared by the majority who are experienced in this
The primary question one must consider before
undertaking any ritual working, especially where Love Magick is
concerned is, "Is This Working Consistent With The Basic Tenant of HARM
NONE as expressed in The Rede."
Upon asking yourself the following two questions, you can effectively
analyze the reasons to either justify or dismiss the working.
1. What is my intent in performing this work?
2. Is this spell or ritual influenced by anger; hatred; lust; greed;
jealousy or envy?
If your answer to question number 1 is found within question number 2,
then as a Wiccan and follower of the Light Path, you must abandon this
spell or ritual because it will not be consistent with the Rede.
Likewise, if question 1 is answered by question 2 and you continue, you
can no longer rightfully call yourself Wiccan. A True Wiccan will not
use manipulative magick to negatively influence another for their own
personal interests. The whole purpose of following this path is to live
in harmony and balance with the natural rhythms of life, not to
manipulate them to suit a selfish goal. At this point, you need to
refer to yourself as a follower of the Dark Path since manipulative
magick for personal gain without consideration of the outcome falls
within that realm...
Harsh Words? You Bet...
Does It Make You Uncomfortable? Good...
By undertaking such an action without the
consent or approval of another, you are clearly disregarding the Rede
and using your gifts for purely selfish reasons. Therefore, you are
setting forces in motion which will ultimately have negative impact in
one way or another and you are practicing Dark Magick.
You must remember that once you create and release this energy as a
thought form, it will acquire life, form and substance. It will run
it's course, and the final outcome through the laws of cause and effect
may not be what you wanted. The potential for great harm to both
yourself and others are clearly evident in such a working. This is
especially clear when you consider that you will eventually need to
absorb this energy back into yourself after it has ruined your life and
the lives of who knows how many others...
Let's Look At a Potential
Outcome of Such a
Working for a Moment...
You create a Love Spell, focus your energy
and release it toward your victim. I use the word victim because that
is what you have just made this person if they are unaware of your work
and have not given their consent.
Through the laws of magick, your victim begins to fall hopelessly in
love with you or the person you performed this spell for. So much so
that they become increasingly dependent as time passes. They can no
longer function without your presence and guidance. You cannot get a
moments peace because they constantly have to be with you. You can no
longer function at work because they are calling every ten minutes.
They become increasingly jealous, possessive and suspicious because
they cannot have all of your time. The list of undesirable effects
could go on and on and can become more than a little frightening.
Ultimately, you must ask yourself the following questions. Would "you"
want someone doing this to you, and if you truly cared for someone, how
could you risk doing something like this to them? In my humble opinion,
it does not show a very high regard or respect for others or yourself
and the decision on whether or not to proceed is clear.
I caution you that non consensual Love Magic
is a double edged sword and borders on the manipulation of another
human being against their "Free Will". It is also dangerously close to
Psychic Rape and is considered highly unethical by most who practice
I hope this has given those who have considered using such practices
food for thought. While my opinion may not be shared by all, it
illustrates the need to consider all potential outcomes before focusing
and releasing a spell.
A Better Solution
This is written by a friend who wishes to be
known as "Betty".
A couple of years ago, I was single again after the demise of a long
marriage. I was lonely, and hoping I would not spend the rest of my
life alone. I had decided to ask the Goddess for help, using my own
energies and powers. So, not wanting another not-so-good marriage, I
was asking for what qualities in a person I wanted, and asked to be
-SENT- someone rather than just find someone. I went outside and
performed a ritual under the full moon, by myself. I asked that I be
sent -THE RIGHT- person, with no particular idea of who that person
would be, or any specific qualities about that person. From my previous
marriage, I knew that it was important to me that the person share
important things in my life, including my religion, at least in a basic
Well, in a couple of days, I met a new person online. I thought we were
writing about our shared interest in folk music. Then, after a little
while, first he, then I, admitted that there was more interest than
that. One thing led to another there, he came to visit me. He told me
that he too, had been doing a simple ritual during that same full moon:
Lighting candles, and asking Goddess, "Please Mother, send me someone
to love so I don't spend my life alone". He ended up staying and
sending for his things, and we were later married.
This is a better solution than asking for a specific thing, in a
specific way, or especially from a specific person. For one thing, the
issue of manipulation completely went away. Instead, the person who was
sent was also asking for someone to love, through his own ritual. We
did not know each other when we did these rituals. For For another
thing, we were both asking for a "right person" for us. In both of our
cases, sure, other people (former spouses) believed that we were not
"the right person". We probably weren't for them. For each other, we
may well be. Neither of us is perfect, no one is a "perfect partner"
We have always been amused that we were doing these rituals with
similar intent, although the specifics of the operation of the rituals
was very different at the same time, for the same purpose. Perhaps
Goddess runs a "cosmic switchboard" of sorts. When She gets various
requests, She just introduces people on some criteria - kind of like a
dating service with ALL of the information.
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