Filling The Void
- Full Moon Insight
A few years ago, back in 2006, on the night
of the full moon, I was thinking of a past client of mine, whom I had
done some healing work on, on an emotional level. As I was
gazing out the window, watching the beautiful full moon rise over the
mountains in the clear Santa Fe night, I remembered how she had told me
she had been sexually abused as a child by her stepbrother and had
never received any treatment because her parents were afraid it would
ruin the family. It appeared that this abusive past lead to a
current eating disorder she had.
Return to Healing
Suddenly a door slammed - I jumped - my heart started pumping harder,
and I mumbled a few words under my breath. I tried to regain
my composure by turning on the radio. I ran through the
stations to find a comfortable song. "All the same empty noice," I
thought. I wonder why I keep this crazy thing on so much of
the time. It's almost like I'm trying to fill a void somehow.
I looked toward the mountains again. The moon was so bright
and full that it illuminated the clouds sitting above the
mountaintops. I turned the radio off and begain to be
thankful for the majesty of nature. I thought of the full
moon ritual I had planned for later in the night. A feeling
of enormous debt filled my heart and soul. I began to offer
thanksgiving to Goddess Diana for the beauty that I was seeing outside
the window. I began to muse: "I wonder, my Goddess, why I
have a yearning - almost a need - to fill every minute with music or
books or something to satisfy the void. Why does Sherrie (the
previously mentioned client -names have been changed) seek to fill her
void with food? Why does Susan feel a need to fill her void
with drugs, and why does Bert seek to fill his void with sex?
Why does there sometimes seem to be a giant hole in our lives, even
when we want to do what's right?"
After these questions, thoughts and feelings filled my heart and
soul. The answer came in a peaceful awareness. I
had lived with Goddess Diana in the premortal existence. In
that realm I was filled with Her divine love for me as Her
son. When I came to Earth, I left Her presence, and a void
was created. I felt the void was placed in my heart for my
earthly journey so I would seek Her again. As I seek to know
and love Diana, the void can be filled.
It was a soft and quiet answer - as quiet as the moonlit night. But it
touched my soul, and tears began to well up in the corner of my eyes.
Now, as I work with clients on healing levels who are suffering from
pain, loneliness, and addictions, I have reached a new awareness that
they are all trying to fill their void in ways that can only tear them
apart. The void cannot be filled by external sources but must
be filled from within...so beings a journey of true healing and